


Aracnophobia my ass!

by HeroRodrigues



Category: Avengers, Deadpool - Fandom, Marvel, Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Marvel Comics - Fandom, Spiderman - Fandom, X-Men, X-Men (Comicverse), X-Men (Movieverse), spideypool - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-01
Updated: 2017-01-20
Packaged: 2018-07-19 12:21:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7361326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeroRodrigues/pseuds/HeroRodrigues
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When a no good ass-hole decides to take Spidey away from the Amazingly amazing Deadpool after they were just hanging around, fighting crime, arguing, flirting and eating taco's, You bet Deadpool's gonna be mad. Now its up to Wade to save Spiderman and his wonderful ass while beating up the ass's of dumb shits that took him there in the first place.<br/>(Oh that sweet ass)<br/>[Do you think the author's going to be mad that we wrote the summery oursleves?]<br/>"Na, we're alright."<br/>(Butts!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hey Spidey!

Deadpool Voices:

(Childish)

[Adult]

 

The New York night life was bustling like always. The sounds of cars driving, music playing and arguing reached the young man's ears. Spiderman was sat at the top of a tall building, looking down on the busy streets, in order to spot anything out of the ordinary. Spiderman breathed out to revel a small cloud of warm air being forced into the cold. He was shivering. His spandex suit did next to nothing to keep out the cold, but it didn't worry him too much. He would soon be moving again, whether that was to fight crime to to swing around to find it, he didn't know. 

"Unusually quiet night tonight." He muttered to himself. He had only stopped a couple of muggings and the night was almost over. He decided to take another swing around just in case. He stood to swing. 

"Hey there Spidey!" Deadpool's sudden appearance behind him shocked him into nearly falling off the building. He managed to find his footing in time and, once he had calmed down, he stared at the red clad mercenary. 

(He looks kinda mad...)

[It might be because we snuck up behind him and almost made him a lump of flesh on the sidewalk.]

"We would have caught him." Deadpool assured the boxes. Spiderman sighed and rubbed his forehead through his mask. He cursed his spider-sense for not warning him, but at the same time he realised that he wasn't in danger. 

"What do you want Deadpool?" Spiderman said while crossing his arms. He was slightly elevated by the side of the building, allowing him to look down at Deadpool. It was an occurrence that didn't happen often because of how tall Wade was in comparison to Spiderman. He found it irritating when Wade would comment about it or lean his arm on Spidey's head, so whenever this happened he was extremely happy. 

"Awww is that anyway to treat you're biggest fan?" Deadpool said with a voice similar to one you would use for a child. Spiderman rolled his eyes, although you couldn't tell under the mask, and changed his tone of voice. 

"What's up Deadpool. Haven't seen you in a while." He said before turning around to look at the streets. He didn't mind Deadpool's visits, but he didn't appreciate it when he surprised him like that. 

(Damn that ass!)

[Has he been doing squats while we've been gone?]

"I know right!" Deadpool responded before stepping up onto the ledge with Spiderman and trying to see what Spiderman was looking at. He tried to match his eye-level with Spidey, but soon gave up. "What you lookin' at?" Deadpool asked. 

"Anything that could mean trouble, but the biggest troublemaker is right beside me so I don't know why I'm so worried." Spiderman said while glancing at Deadpool. 

(He hit you with the wit!)

[What's your come back?]

"I hear that troublemaker is one sexy guy." Deadpool replied. 

(Ohhhhhhhhhhh)

[That was good]

"Yeah sure." Spiderman muttered sarcastically. 

"Give us a break, not everyone can have a fine ass like you." 

(A really sweet ass)

"W...Whatever Deadpool." Spiderman said before quickly changing of the strange topic. "So where have you been?"

[Was he embarrassed?]

(Its so cute when he's embarrassed) 

"You know, travelling the world, defeating bad guys, killing worse guys." Deadpool said casually. Spiderman tensed up at the word killing. 

[He doesn't like killing you dumb ass.]

(You're gonna make him maaadddd)

"Why are you back here then?" Spiderman asked with his voice slightly colder than before. 

(See now he's gonna be pissed off)

[If you're not careful he's gonna leave]

"I didn't mean to mention killing." Deadpool said angrily. He started to have a huge argument with the boxes about who's fault it was that they mentioned it and whether Spidey was really angry. Spiderman was used to his constant self arguments. 

"I'm not mad." He clarified, interrupting Deadpool, before talking again. "Why are you here?" He asked, making sure that his voice was noticeably more welcoming. He didn't wan to hurt Deadpools feelings and, although he is strongly against killing anyone, he realised that Deadpool was a good guy at heart. 

"Other than to see my favorite superhero EVER?" He paused for a moment as he tried to remember. "Damn... what was it?" He said while comically scratching his head. It made Spiderman smile. Deadpool was entertaining to say the least, and he always managed to get Spiderman smiling. 

(Was there any other reason?)

[Other than the shady stuff happening recently that we've been hired to check out?]

"Oh yeah!" Deadpool shouted. "There's been some shady shit happening recently and I've gotta figure out whats been happening." This seemed to grab Spiderman's attention. 

"Shady stuff? What type of stuff?" Spiderman said, refusing to swear. Deadpool shrugged his shoulders, causing Spiderman to roll his eyes again. 

"But now I found you we can spend some quality time together! How about tacos?" Deadpool offered. Spiderman hesitated. 

"Well, I've still got to look around a bit and then get home to rest and..." 

"Please!" Deadpool begged while pressing his hands together. 

"And don't you need to look into that..." Deadpool was suddenly on his knees, wrapping his arms around Spidermans torso and looking up at him. 

"PLEASE!" 

"Oh, okay fin...DEADPOOL!" Spiderman shouted while grabbing Wade's arms and removing his hands from his butt. Deadpool smiled at Spiderman. 

(We touched the butt...)

[Those are some firm cheeks]

"Come on, how could I resist?" Deadpool asked Spidey. Spiderman blushed, and was glad the mask was there to hide it. 

"Just...just get o..off." He stuttered, giving away his embarrassment. Deadpool grinned. 

(Kawii!!)

"You're so cute when you're embarrassed." Deadpool mentioned, causing Spiderman to blush even more. Spiderman calmed down and coughed to get his voice right. 

"Do you want Taco's or not?" He asked and Deadpool squeaked in delight. 

"Spidey-back ride?" Deadpool asked. Spiderman groaned but ultimately agreed. "Hell yes!" Deadpool celebrated before flinging himself onto Spiderman's back. 

"Hay! Watch it." Spiderman warned. 

"Yeah yeah, let's go!" Deadpool shouted to which Spiderman followed. He was already starting to get a headache. 

 

 

They had perched themselves on a building top and were digging into their taco's. To do this their masks were required to be pulled up over their noses, something that Wade had been hesitant to do. 

"I don't wanna put you off your food Spidey." Deadpool had insisted. 

"It won't. I don't care about what you look like Wade." Spiderman had assured, but Wade was still hesitant. "You know what?" Spiderman put his taco down along with his mask. 

"What are you doing?" Deadpool asked. 

(You've annoyed his already)

[He's going to leave]

Spiderman looked Deadpool dead in the eyes of his mask. 

"If you're not gonna lift your mask and eat, neither will I." He announced before looking out over the city and leaning back on his hands. 

"Spidey..."

"Nope. Not gonna happen." Spiderman interrupted him. Deadpool groaned before sighing. 

"Alright fine, but don't blame me when you can't stomach your food." He warned before lifting the mask to his nose and taking a bite out of his taco. Spiderman, satisfied with the result, did the same. 

(Any minute now he's gonna hurl)

[He hasn't spotted your face yet]

(What's his reaction gonna be when he see's it?)

"Terror probably." Deadpool answered while spiting food everywhere. 

"You're such a messy eater." Spiderman commented. To which Deadpool grunted and glanced at the Hero. Spiderman was looking directly at him. 

(He's seen it)

[Bad reaction time]

Spidey reached up to Deadpool's chin and wiped away some source that had managed to drip down. 

"You managed to get that source all the way down your chin. Next time I'm asking for napkins." He said before wiping his hand on the building and getting back to his toco.

(He stroked our chin!)

[Because we had food on it. He’s just too polite to say anything mean to us]

(But it was tot’s sexy.)

“Now if only we could get him to lick it off.” Deadpool said aloud, causing Spiderman to blush again. He had a feeling what Deadpool was talking about. 

[Did he say ‘next time?’]

(Another Date with Spidey!)

Spiderman stood up and stretched. Wade glanced up at the young man as he groaned with the stretch. 

(Oh that groan!)

[Boner control, please]

“I better be going Wade. See ya around.” He said with a small wave before lowering his mask and swinging away. 

“See ya sexy!” Deadpool shouted after him. He wasn’t sure if he had heard but he felt better after saying it. 

(We are totally gonna see him and that sexy ass around)

[At least he didn’t throw up when he saw our chin]


	2. Apartments

Peter swung into an alleyway to change his clothes before heading to his apartment. There was loud noise coming from across the hall, like usual, and it made him groan. He needed sleep, but he guessed it would be too hard to get any. 

"Might as well try." He said as he shoved his, slightly stuck, door open. His apartment was extremely small. It only had enough space for two rooms. His couch was also a bed, that he slept on every night, and the other room was a kitchen that only held an oven, fridge and sink. He staggered in and went straight to wardrobe to get changed for bed. He unfolded his bed and brushed his teeth in the A5 size mirror he owned. He put up with the apartment because of a few reasons.  
1: It got him out of his Antie's house meaning she wasn't going to find out he was Spiderman, like she nearly had too many times, and it kept her safe from any villains that could follow him home one night.  
2: It was very close to the newspaper office he worked at and only a 15 minute train ride to his university.  
3: This place dripped with crime. It was where he would have to swing to anyway so why not live here?

The whole time he was getting ready to sleep his mind was on Deadpool and the reason he was in New York. He knew that the Mercenary had an apartment here but, other than that, had no idea where the merc could be. If there really was something going down then he would probably need to keep in touch with Deadpool, but how. He could scheduled meet ups?He could give Wade his phone number, but he'd probably call during the day and shout that he's Spiderman so loud that the speaker wouldn't even need to be on for people to hear. Imagine if that happened at Uni. No way would he be able to live it down. He sighed and collapsed onto his bed. He would think of something tomorrow. 

 

 

Deadpool was walking around the city with a crayon draw map in his hand that he was trying to read. 

"Who made this shitty map?"

(We did! It was fun trying to draw what the women on the phone said)

[It would have been easier to read if we had used a pen and not a crayon]

"But the crayon was red!" Deadpool argued as he scrunched up the useless piece of paper. "Whatever, we'll use our natural born instinct to find the trouble." He said in his best dramatic hero voice. 

[What instinct would this be?]

(Oh oh! Can I be the instinct? Id make a cool noise like Spiderman's Spidey-sense does.)

[Isn't that just mimicking Spiderman then? Also, it doesn't make a sound in the comics, only the animated series and movies.]

"Yeah, but the author is mixing the worlds together so who cares?" Deadpool asked while walking down the street with a casual strut. 

[So what Spiderman is this? Comic one or movie one? And which movie one?]

(The cute one!)

[That doesn't answer my question]

"They're all pretty cute, but this one has a good body." 

[That doesn't help either]

Deadpool suddenly stops and looks down an alleyway. 

(My Natural Instincts are tingling! Tingle Tingle)

[We don't have Natural Instincts] 

"Hello!" Deadpool calls down the dingy path. "Anyone down here? Come out, I won't hurt you. Unless you're someone with info." He muttered the last part to himself and then heard a shuffle behind some trash cans. He quietly drew one of his katanas before jumping to the side of the trash can. "Boo!" He shouted, to the empty air. 

(Teleportation!)

[Or they just quietly ran down the other side of the Alleyway into the street]

Deadpool looked up to see that there was indeed a slightly smaller alleyway leading to the bustling street. 

"Awww... he might have known something."

[Why would he have known anything? He was a random dude]

(He was probs a drugy. They know EVERYONE)

"Well we don't know do we? Because he got away."

[If you didn't call out we probably would have gotten him]

Deadpool shrugged his shoulders. 

"Oh well, tomorrow we'll try again." He said while sheathing his blade.

(And maybe we'll see Spiderman)

[No doubt. He does petrol the city every night]

"You'd think he'd get tired or ill or something." He walked home, talking to his boxes, and getting some weird looks from passers by. He was used to the attention, and found that he'd rather have them stare at him because of his craziness and suit than because his face. He got to his small, decrepit apartment. There was mold in corners and take-out boxes stacked on top of each other in said corners. There was damp from the walls around the only two windows, on in the bedroom and one in the living room, and he had one disgusting looking couch in front of a century old T.V. 

(Hey! It's still home!)

[A very disgusting home that probably is also home to a number of rodents.] 

"Oh well, the more the merrier." Deadpool exclaimed before grabbing a half finished box of noddles and digging in. 

[Do we know how long that's been there?]

(Who cares how long, it food!)

"It's not like I can get ill because of it anyway." He said, spraying food everywhere.

(We'll never get Spiderman to sleep with us if he sees this. H'd take one look and run)

[And if that's not the thing to make him run our face will be] 

"No shit." He muttered before switching on the T.V and leaning back on the couch.


	3. Petey!!

Peter rolled out of bed at the sound of his alarm. He groaned and and rubbed his face while looking down at his phone. He had to be at work to submit and write in and hour and a half. Then it was University for 4 till 7, then it was Spiderman time. He stood up and folded his bed up before grabbing some bathroom stuff to walk down the the community bathroom. He locked his door and noted that the constant loud music was still blaring from the apartment opposite. He must have been really tired to sleep through that. He made his way to the bathroom. It was set up similar to school shower rooms. There were cubicals for toilets and showers. He went in one to wash and check for any wounds, from the night before, that he would have to hide if necessary. He seemed good. There were scratches and a bit of bruising but they were going to be covered anyway. He quickly changed into a jacket, top and jeans before throwing his bathroom stuff into his apartment and running out of the building. He looked around and went to, instinctively, readjust his glasses only to have his finger touch his forehead. He groaned aloud and ran back in to pick his glasses up from beside the door and ran back out again. They weren't real glasses, but he used to have glasses so it would be weird to not have them anymore. He could say to people he has contact lenses but, in a way, the glasses was another thing to hide his relationship to Spiderman. Everyone knew he 'Knew' Spiderman because of his pictures, so using glasses was another protection to make sure people don't find the link. He assumed that people thought of the glasses subconsciously, but it helped either way. 

 

"This is rubbish Parker!" Peter resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Jameson was shouting at him again. It happened nearly everyday, even when Peter had brought something good in, and the young man was used to it. He took the shouting, language and pictures when Jameson threw them at him in displeasure. Peter picked up a couple that had fallen on the floor before leaving. "Get me something worth printing Parker!" He ended as Peter closed the door. Peter sighed as he walked to his desk and dropped the pictures into the trash next to it. He rubbed his eyes and leaned back in his chair. J.J. Jameson wanted pictures of Spiderman doing something bad, or something that could be considered bad. He hated the spandex Hero for unknown reasons and would use his power over the News paper to show it. Peter sat up and started to type. He wouldn't be there long so there would be no need to get upset over it. 

 

He finished early, and decided to have a walk before he caught the train. It would be a long walk, but Peter didn't mind. He was making his way to the park when who should he see but Deadpool. He was fully clad and was glancing around like he was looking for something before spotting Peter. Peter tried to hide his face, without being obvious, and walk away but it was too late. 

"Hey there Petey!" Deadpool shouted, only a few feet away. Peter was stuck. He raised a hand with a polite smile on his face. Again, he didn't mind Deadpool, but when he's Peter it becomes a pain in the ass to remember what he told to Peter and what he told to Spiderman. Deadpool had found out who Peter was by the newspaper. He had phoned up once and demanded to know who had taken the picture. He found out and stood outside the building, asking everyone whether they were Peter Parker, before finally finding him. 

"H...Hey Deadpool." Peter said as Wade wrapped an arm around his shoulder. 

"What are you up to kid? Got enough time for a Taco?" He asked. 

"Well, actually I have to..."

"Great!" The Merc said before dragging Peter to a local restaurant. 

(Haven't seen Petey in a while!)

[Weren't we doing something?]

(But its Petey!!)

[Arr, fine.]

(Yay! Getting to spend the day with a hot guy like him has made mine a lot better)

[He's made your 'hot guy' a lot better?]

(No! He's made my DAY better.)

"He certainly has." Wade muttered as he brought the food over to the table Peter was sat in. The poor boy seemed awkward. 

[Well you did, quite literally, pull him off the street]

(But he would have said no otherwise)

[So our response is to take him against his will?]

(Ha ha, Take him)

"We wouldn't do that unless he wanted too though." Deadpool's comment to the boxes made Peter even more uncomfortable. He rubbed the back of his neck, a little embarrassed, and gave a small apologetic smile to Wade. 

"I'm gonna have to go soon. I have to get to my lecture." He said. Deadpool was slightly disappointed, and Peter could see it by the way his shoulders slouched. "But I'll stay in till I have to go, the station is only a minute away after all." He attempted to make Wade feel better, and succeeded. 

"Of course my little Petey! You wouldn't leave me unless you had too." 

"Y...yeah." Peter said looking down slightly with a small smile and pink in his cheeks. 

(So adorable! Can we keep him?)

[We can't just kidnap him]

(But he's not a kid, we can manap him)

[That sounds like a weird sex move]

(Can we do it on him?)

[No!]

"Deadpool?" Peter was leaning over the table, waving his hand in front of his face, to try and get his attention. Wade snapped back to Earth and looked into the light chocolate coloured eyes of the man in front of him. 

(Ohhh pretty!)

[Too pretty for us]

"Yeah?" Peter instantly drew his hand back and sat down. 

"Sorry, you just weren't responding." Peter explained. Deadpool waved the apology off. 

"Don't worry about it, boxes in my head were talking about something." Peter pushed his glasses back up his nose. 

"What about?"

(Aww when he does that with his glasses!)

[Cute and intelligent, given what he writes in the newspaper.]

Deadpool grinned. 

"About you, actually." He said. Peter didn't ask for details. He didn't want to know. Talking with him as Spiderman was enough to let him know he shouldn't ask. 

(He's not gonna ask is he?)

[Perhaps the author doesn't want to make it too awkward] 

A few students that Peter knew then walked in. Instantly he tried to hide himself as much as possible by using a menu and condiments. Deadpool looked at him with curiosity. He tugged at the menu Peter was holding in front of his face. 

"What you hidin' from Pete?" Wade asked, but his question was soon answered by a very loud voice behind him. 

"Hey! It's Pewny Peter! Fancy seeing you here." Flash laughed. He had bullied Peter in high-school and had managed to get onto a drama course at their university. Unfortunately for Peter, this also meant that Flash had brought the bullying with him and giving Peter no hope in his new Uni. Peter took in a deep breath and put on his best fake smile before lowering the Menu. 

"Hey there Flash. What you up to?" He asked. Deadpool kept glancing between the two. 

(Why is he being so nice when he was hiding from them only a second ago?)

[Because he doesn't want to get beaten up? Or make a fuss?]

(Why though? We're here to fight!)

[Exactly...}

"Nothing much till I saw you, now I'll have something to do! Hey you know that pathetic kid I told you lot about?" There were a few friends of Flash behind him and a lot of them nodded their heads with smiles on their face. "Well this is the guy. You know, the one who fit so nicely in a locker. Shame the University doesn't have any isn't Parker?" Peter didn't really know how to respond. That was, in till Flash leaned in closer and muttered it again. "Isn't it Parker." He threatened. Peter quickly nodded while moving away. 

"Y...Yeah. We had a great laugh with them didn't we?" Peter tried. He had put up with Flash's nonsense for years and in most of those years he was able to take down Flash with no problem, but that would be out of character and draw attention to himself so he let himself get picked on knowing he could easy floor anyone. Flash started laughing again and this time his group joined in. 

"No need to get so jumpy Peter. We're all friends here. And because we're friends I thought you could do me a little favor." He said while leaning in Peter's seat. Peter was just heavy enough to stop the seat falling backwards. "I thought that you could maybe hold something for me. Just a little something for a friend and..."

"I'm not going to help you sell drugs Flash." Peter said very sternly. Wade seemed surprised at the sudden act. 

(Ooooo, I like Stern Peter!)

[Very sexy]

"Shush dude. Not so loud, but... you will help me out here." Flash said, getting more threatening. 

"If he said no then he said no. Leave the poor guy alone." Wade intervened. Peter rolled his eyes and inwardly groaned. He didn't need this to become a fist fight. Flash snapped his head to the man and smiled. 

"Why? Who are you? His boyfriend?" He teased making him and his friends laugh. Peter blushed and looked away. He quietly picked up his bag from the restaurant floor. Wade stood up and walked up to Flash. He was a few inches taller than Flash was and a lot more intimidating. 

"No, I'm not, but you're about to be my bitch in a minute if you don't back off." Wade growled under his mask. 

(Ohhhhhhhhhhhh!!!)

[Stop that.]

Flash seemed hesitant to retaliate something. 

"What's wrong? Cat got your tongue?" Wade asked with a smirk. 

"Whatever. Next time you're not with your weird wanna be hero friend Parker we'll have this talk again." He warned, pointing at Peter and slowly leaving. "I mean it!" Peter let go of a breath he didn't realise he was holding. Peter sat up, slung his bag on his back, and dashed out of the place. He tried to ignore the shouting of Wade behind him. He was making his way to the station to be early for his lecture. Suddenly someone grabbed his wrist. He instantly twisted and shoved the guy against a wall. 

"Whoa whoa there Petey. It's just me!" Deadpool said while raising his hands in surrender. Peter let him go and shook his bag back onto his back. "Why didn't you pull those moves on dickhead back there? Totally would have shut him up." 

"Because I'm not an idiot that goes looking for confrontation. Now leave me alone. I have to get a train." Peter demanded. His patience had worn thin, and not necessarily because of the Merc. He was wondering why his Spider-sense didn't work, but then again, it doesn't work well around Wade. Peter went into the station and left Deadpool. 

(There it was again! Stern Pete! Damn!)

[He reminded us of someone...]

"Yeah and who knew about that weird strength." Deadpool muttered as he rubbed his sore neck.


	4. Chapter 4

Deadpool was sitting on top of a building, at the edge of town, with pink Dora the explorer binoculars. He was staring at a run down storage building on the riverside. He took a peak at his, well drawn, map to make sure he was in the right place. 

[I told you that writing in pen would be easier to read]

(Not as fun though)

"Why here? It doesn't look like much." The merc commented as he placed his eyes back onto the binoculars. 

[but most evil HQ's tend to be hidden well]

(For all we know the whole floor inside of it could fall away to revel a hidden stair case that takes you down to a secret lab)

[That might actually happen]

(Or maybe there's a wooden closet that, when you walk through it, teleports you to a new an magical world where...!)

[That's the plot to Narnia.]

"Wait wait. Look over there." Deadpool said, excitedly, as a sleek black car pulled up to the building. A few men, all with guns except for one, got out of the car. The one man not packing was dressed in an expensive suit. He was also wearing a fedora meaning that his face was covered in shadow thanks to the street lamps. 

(is that the target?)

[Probably]

(Probably?)

[Well we can't actually see his face now can we.] 

"Welp, better go and see for ourselves." Deadpool announced as he jumped up and made his way down the side of the building. 

 

Peter was swinging through the city. The street were, again, unusually quiet and it was staring to unnerve the young Hero. He swung all the way through town in till he got to the river. He perched onto the building and studied the area. It was a place no unknown for black market crimes, but it hadn't been used recently. He was scraping the barrel in terms of crime areas. He sighed and rubbed his face through his mask. He was about to give up and swing away when he caught sight of a car in the corner of his eye. It stopped outside of a run down storage building not too far away from where he was. He could make out shapes of men leaving the car but other than that he wasn't sure of what to make of the situation. He decided that it was better to be safe than sorry and swung up onto a closer street light. He saw two men closing the big sliding door to the building, but they were clearly armed. He was about to jump on top of the building before his Spidey sense tingled ever so slightly. His head snapped around to try and locate the source of the sense. He didn't need to look for very long. He saw a certain red clad merc dash behind a storage crate that was extremely close to the entrance. Spidey jumped onto the from the street light and swung off another one to land, lightly, onto the crate Wade was hiding behind. This sudden appearance made Wade pull two guns from their holsters and point them straight up at Spiderman. Peter instantly raised his hands in surrender as Deadpool realised who it was. He, silently for once, placed the guns back into their positions and gestured for Peter to come closer in order not to shout. 

"Deadpool what are you doing here?" Spidey asked once he was right beside Deadpool. Wade looked around the corner of the huge crate, towards the door.

"I could ask you the same question Spidey." 

"I was swinging and saw so shady men enter this place, you know my job, now why are you here? Is it to do with that contract you've currently got?" He whispered. Deadpool turned to him. 

"Yes it is, and now you're here I could use your help. I need to make sure that I question the guy in the fedora." Peter was puzzled and the tilt of his head showed it. 

"Umm could you explain a little better than that?"

"The guy in the fedora is linked to the big trouble I was talkin' about. I need to catch him an question him in order to find the ACTUAL head quarters." Deadpool said. Peter nodded, understanding, but was slightly bothered by the thought of Deadpool 'questioning' somebody. 

"Alright so what do you need me to do?" 

"I need you." Deadpool pointed at him dramatically. "To swing you and your cute booty to the other side of the place and come in from the back."

(ha ha come in from the back.)

[We would totally do that with Spidey]

"Then I will go through the front, guns a blasin', and pick off everyone in till we get to big mister fedora man." Deadpool pulled out his two guns again to emphasize his point. Peter frowned under his mask but, because Deadpool couldn't see under his mask, he also crossed his arms to show his denial of the plan. 

"No killing anyone Deadpool." He warned making Wade roll his eyes and groan. 

"Fine fine, but I still need Mister Fedora man. Will you help?" He asked it with a hopeful voice. Spiderman didn't move for a while, making sure he understood that Peter was unsure whether to trust the merc or not, before nodding and getting ready to swing. 

"No Killing." He repeated before jumping and moving out of sight. 

(Arrrr It's gonna be so much more hassle to not kill anyone.)

[Better that then to get Spiderman mad at us]

"Yeah he gets scary when he's mad." Deadpool muttered as he prepared himself to storm the place. 

[Only we could get SPIDERMAN to be mad at us. He called the FRIENDLY neighborhood Spiderman for Christ sake]

(He only gets mad when we kill people though)

Deadpool stood in front of the door and tried to pull it open only to realise it was locked. 

"Well we better not kill anyone then." He concluded, getting out an explosive and sticking it to the door. He took a dozen steps back as the timer ticked down. He covered is eyes as it exploded, taking a big chunk of the door with it, and forcing bits of wood to log themselves into Wades arm and leg. He suddenly dashed forward, taking the two guards by surprise as they were still dealing with the shock of the explosion. Deadpool shot them through the knee. 

"I was an adventure once and then I took a 9mm bullet to the knee." Deadpool said in a raspy old voice as he continued to another two men. One got shot in the shoulder. "Thing one." and the other in the ankle before the shoulder. "Thing two." One of the previous men managed to reach for their gun and point it at Deadpool. He shoot him in the ribs, seemingly for a lung, causing Wade to stagger back slightly and curse. He glared at the guy. "See this is why I find it annoying not killing all of you. You're seemingly useless and just start to become a pain in my ass pulling stupid moves like that." The man kept on shooting into Deadpool's chest, only gaining a pause from the Mercenary. Still, Deadpool carried on getting closer in till the gun had run out of bullets and the only thing you could hear was the click of the trigger and the groans of the other men. Wade casually shoot him in the shoulder, making him fall onto his back, before turning and continuing to the other room. Spidey was there, with Fedora man, being threatened by a gun. Fedora man wasn't facing the exit meaning Deadpool had an easy shoot if things went south. He needn't have worried as Spiderman shoot a web at the barrel of the gun and pulled it forward, along with the man attached, before jumping over them and shooting more web to tie them up. Deadpool saw another four men strung up in a similar way, as he walked in, making him grin. Spiderman faced him urgently. 

"You didn't kill anyone did you?"

"What? No."

"Wade..." There was a loud and painful groan from the previous room. 

"See!" Deadpool said gesturing to the doorway. Spiderman sighed and looked to the well dressed man in a web bundle on the floor. 

"So who is he, what is he suppost to know and how are you going to get that info?" Spiderman questioned, putting his hands on his hips. 

"His name is Derick Daverson, he's suppost to know where the baddies HQ is and 'this little piggy'." Deadpool said, counting it off of his fingers. Peters Head snapped towards him. 

"This little Piggy?"

"Yeah you know, this little piggy went to the market, this little piggy stayed at home, this little piggy ate roast beef and this little piggy..."

"Yes I know the poem. I want to know how you could possibly use it to get answers." 

"By breaking the bones of the toes." A grouchy voice answered from the ground. The two costumed men glanced down to see Derick looking up at them with a very bored look on their face. 

"What!" Spiderman shouted as he glared at Wade. Deadpool shrugged in return. 

"It's not killing, and how else did you think I was going to get the information? huh?" Spiderman sighed and face palmed before hearing sirens in the distance. He, and Deadpool, instantly became alert. 

"Not the time to argue about it. Grab him and lets go." Spiderman ordered before dashing out of the room. 

"Aww why can't you do it?"

"Deadpool!"

"Okay okay. Jeez." Wade swept up the man. "Are you gonna scream or anything because it'll be a pain if you do." The man didn't replay, giving Wade reason to believe he wouldn't pull anything funny.


	5. Chapter 5

The bag was removed from the gagged man's head, blinding him temporarily, and giving him a good view of the not so great scenery. Deadpool's living room was a tip that Peter really didn't want to stay in too long. The smell was bad, not the worst he had encountered, but he would admit that with a good clean the flat could be quite homely. 

"Hayo. Sorry foe the bag an' everything, but I didn't want you seeing where I live. I normally don't bother, because most don't get out alive, but spoil sport..." Deadpool pointed, slight behind himself, at Spiderman who was now crossing his arms in frustration. "Is against killing." The Fedora man tried to say something through his gag, but it didn't seem like he was actively struggling to be heard. It sounded more like he had muttered a sarcastic comment. This was further indicated when he rolled his eyes after his muffled statement. 

"Can we please un-gag him Deadpool." Peter sighed. He was tired, and wasn't enjoying the idea of controlling Deadpool in an interrogation. 

"Oh yeah, sure Baby-Boy." Deadpool said as he ribbed the duck tape off of the man's mouth. 

"Don't call me that." Spiderman growled with a small blush on his features. Deadpool couldn't see the blush, because of the mask, but found Spiderman's irritation cute. 

[He's going to get mad at us again]

(But even Mad Spiderman is pretty cute)

Deadpool chuckled in return to Spiderman's request. The man groaned at the small sting of his lips from where the tape had been. Wade tilted his head playfully. 

"Aww did little Mister Fedora get an ouche?" He said in a childish voice. "Well you're gonna be feeling a lot worse in a few minutes if you don't tell me what I want to know!" He shouted, suddenly gaining a low and intimidating voice. Spiderman was slightly taken aback. Whenever he saw Deadpool it was on friendly enough terms and when he had to team up with him he had only showed a goofy and annoying side of himself. This was completely different. However, the man in the chair didn't seem too fazed by the threat. 

"Yeah sure I'll tell ya. I'm not getting injured for a stupid scientist like him, but they move a lot. You will probably only get a few days to locate and attack them." Deadpool was surprised, and slightly disappointed, that he was giving up the information so easily. 

(Only a few days?)

[well it makes more sense than having one permanent base that would eventually be discovered]

(why don't we do that then?)

[We're too lazy to move all our shit all the time]

(We own a T.V, couch, bed and computer. That's it)

"Say's a lot doesn't it." Wade said aloud, gaining a weird look from the tied up guy and Spidey, before putting his attention back onto Fedora man. "Alright, a few days got it. Where are they? Tell us everything." 

 

Peter sighed loudly when he entered his apartment. He had a huge argument with Deadpool on where they should leave the man. Peter had wanted to leave him on the police station's doorstep Wade, however, had wanted to drop him in the river and see how far he could swim in the freezing cold. Spiderman had evenually won the argument, but it was still tiresome for the young man. Deadpool constantly interrupting himself also didn't help. Peter got into his P.J's and opened up his bed. Tomorrow was a weekend, meaning he had the whole day, in till Spiderman time, to chill out. Mister Fedora had mentioned a few places, without much detail linked to them, as well as times where they would most likely encounter Deadpool's target. Wade had been persistent in investigating himself and then finding Spidey to help when he needed it. He had been reluctant to allow him such freedom, but it was easier to say yes and go home than to argue with him for another hour. 

"It'll be fine." He assured himself as his head hit the pillow. He lay there for around half and hour, trying to get to sleep, before sighing and telling himself that he'll check out the area's as Peter during the day. He fell asleep soon after. 

 

(Making my way down town walking fast)

[Stop singing!]

(Awww you secretly love it)

"At least it fits with the scenario this time." Wade said as he strutted down the sidewalk. There were a few shuffles of panic from the public, since he was fully armed with guns and two katana's, and some faces of awe from many who thought he was Spiderman. 

[I don't understand that. Our costumes aren't that similar.] 

(They see red and instantly think of the Web-head)

[The sexy Web-head]

(The Web-head we want to see in bed giving us head)

"That rhymed! We're a poet and we didn't even know it."

[He rhymed head with head again.]

(So? This is difficult you know)

Deadpool was instantly distracted by a shop window from across the street. 

"Is that?"

(I think it is!)

[Get there quickly!]

Wade dashed across the car filled road, getting a lot of honks and angry yelling, to plaster himself onto the shop window in order to peer inside. 

"It is! Spidey has his own P.J's!" He shouted while looking at the mannequin showing off the product. 

[We defently need a pair]

(I say we get three pairs just to be safe)

"Why not six pairs to be doubly safe?" Deadpool said as he went to open the door of the shop, only to realise it was locked with a closed sigh on the door. 

[no]

(No!)

"NOOOOOOOOOOooooooooo!!" Deadpool fell to his knees and shook his hands, violently, in the air. 

"Ummm... deadpool?" Wade stopped halfway through his screaming and slowly angled his head to see Peter looking down at him nervously. Peter had no idea what Wade was doing but it seemed to be one of his overly dramatic moments, nothing to worry about too much. 

"Oh hi Petey. What's up?" Deadpool asked casually. Peter glanced Wade up and down before smirking slightly. 

"Your arms at the moment." He chose to ignore the cutesy nickname. Wade looked up at his hands, back to Peter and then back to his hands again before letting them drop and standing up. Peter frowned slightly as he realised his moment of being the taller one of the two instantly fell away. 

(Why is he frowning?)

[Did we piss him off already?]

"What's with the frown Petey?" Deadpool asked with a tilt of his head. Peter's frown didn't move as he finally addressed the nickname. 

"Don't call me that, and the frown wasn't because of anything you did." He explained before smiling slightly to make sure Wade didn't feel bad. "What are you doing out here... screaming?"

"What?" He then realised what Peter was talking about. "Ohhhh, I saw this store was selling Spiderman P.J's but it's fucking shut!" 

(That isn't fair!)

[Why is it shut anyway? It's the middle of the day!]

Peter couldn't help the small chuckle that escaped his lips. Seeing Deadpool so distraught over his merchandise was just funny to him. 

[Was that a laugh?]

(That was so cute!) 

Deadpool beamed at the thought of entertaining Peter and instantly jumped onto the idea of spending the day with him. 

[We're supposed to be investigating. We only have a few days remember.] 

(But it's Petey!)

[You said that last time]

(It worked last time)

"Yeah it did." Deadpool stepped closer to Peter, making Peter instantly shuffle backwards ever so slightly due to personal space, before grabbing his shoulder and forcing him to allow Wade to rest his arm on over his neck on on his other shoulder. "So what are you doing today? You free to grab somin' too eat."

"Well..." 

"Of course you have free time. Come on." Peter rolled his eyes and decided to go with it. He wasn't going to take no for an answer so why even try. "What do you wanna eat?" Deadpool asked as he dragged him down the high-street. 

"Pizza?" Peter asked. Deadpool nodded in agreement and suddenly changed directions, still pulling the poor young man along, and then took a turn. "Deadpool!" Peter shouted when he almost tripped. Deadpool laughed. 

"Sorry Petey, but I know a really good pizza place round here." 

(It's around here somewhere)

[His shout sounded weirdly familiar don't you think] 

(Who cares we're gonna go get Pizza!)

"There!" Deadpool stopped in front of a pizza place with neon lights advertising the face it was open and a pizza place. Peter tripped into Wade, because of the unexpected stop, and nearly toppled Wade over as well. He managed to keep his footing as well as stopped Peter from crashing to the ground. "Look at that Petey. I think you're falling for me."

"Why did you just suddenly stop like that?" Peter pushed himself off of Deadpool and tried his best to stop his cheeks from going red with embarrassment. 

"Because were here! Come on." Wade walks in, followed closely by Peter, to be welcomes by a loud and jolly Italian man. 

"Deadpool, 'ow you been? Comin' and 'ave some Pizza!" 

"I've beena greata. Yes fora da Pizza!" Deadpool responded with a terrible Italian accent while waving his hands ,with his thumbs on his forefingers, in front of his face. The man just laughed and showed them to a table. Peter gave Deadpool a strange look. "Yeah I know. Italian man owns a pizza restaurant. So cliche!" 

"I'm pretty sure what you did was racist."

"So?" The shock on Peters face made the merc laugh. "Don't worry about it. He laughed we're okay, plus he knows me. I'm a good customer." Peter was still uncomfortable, but looked at the Pizza menu and tried to decide which Pizza he wanted. 

"Well, I don't have much on me so I guess I'll just get a normal cheese." 

"What! No no no, money isn't an issue! I'll pay for everything!"

"I'm alright I'll pay fro mysel..."

"No I'm gonna pay and get you a great big pizza with all the toppings and..." 

"I said I'll pay for myself!" Peter insisted, cutting Deadpool off, and glaring at him slightly. Peter didn't want to use Deadpool's money. It was money that was gained by doing horrible things, things that Peter didn't want to think about, so he was refusing. 

"Okay okay, jeez. I was just being nice." Peter instantly felt a little bit of guilt. He cursed himself for feeling so bad for a mercenary, but it was just in his nature to be apologetic. 

"I'm sorry, but..." Peter was interrupted by someone asking for their choices.

(He got so defensive)

[Perhaps pride? I hear a lot of people turn down money because of pride]

"That's stupid, who would turn down money?" Peter, once again, chose to ignore Wade's comment. He assumed he was talking to his boxes, but doesn't really understand it himself and just rolls with it a lot of the time. The Pizza's came and they started to dig in. "You didn't actually tell us what you were doing? Aren't you normally at work by this time?" Peter almost choked on the slice of pizza he was eating. 

"How would you know that?" He coughed out. 

"Umm..."

(Alert Alert!)

[How are we supposed to reply?]

"I might have stalked you... ever to slightly." 

"What!"

[What made you think THAT was a good reply]

"Well you didn't help you know!"

[I wasn't done thinking yet!]

(Oh no petey's gonna be so mad. What if he tells Spidey?)

[And then Spidey's gonna be mad at us too!]

"Shut up. It'll be fine, I think."

([You Think!)]

"Deadpool, I'm not mad." Peter said as calmly as he could, because he was actually mad, but understood that it was in Deadpool's nature to do something like this. In fact, Peter thought, it probably made Wade feel more secure about Peter as a person to find out info and assure himself that Peter wasn't a threat and was simply just 'Spidey's Friend'. 

(He isn't?)

[His forgiveness is so good it's frightening]

"That's good! All good, nothing but good. Goody goody good good." Deadpool rambled. 

"I don't have work or Uni today. That's why I was wondering around taking pictures of things." Peter wasn't exactly lying. He was planning on taking pictures of the locations he had been told and was going to, later, put them through the Shield database to find anything useful. However, this was before Deadpool had shown up. It had been a stupid idea to walk to those locations and not expect to see Deadpool along the way. He was going to the exact same locations so of course he was going to see Peter at one point or another. 

"Really? I'd of thought always taking pictures of Spiderman's amazing ass would make you bored of photography." Peter was unfazed by the comment, which was strangely a compliment, and shook his head. 

"I don't think I could ever be bored of photography. Its a way of capturing everything beautiful about the world and reminds me how wonderful it is to live in a place filled with said beauty, although a lot of it is hidden..." Peter stopped himself when he realised that he was preaching, and when he saw how intently Deadpool was listening. He coughed and looked down at his pizza with a hint of red on his features. "W...well yeah. I don't get bored of it."

(KAWIII!!!!)

[How did he manage to get even cuter?]

"It's so cute when you get all passionate about your work." Deadpool admitted while leaning forward and propping his head up by his elbows. Peter got even redder than he had before and glanced up at the time. He stood up abruptly and put some money on the table. 

"Sorry I have to go and do something now." He quickly muttered before dashing out of the building before Deadpool could say anything. Deadpool sighed disappointingly. 

(Of course he would run away. Who would want to be flirted with by us?)

[At least now we can focus on our actual reason for being here.]


	6. Drive- 6

Peter ran off to try and forget about his interaction with Deadpool. He had just wanted to get ahead of any bad guys that could threaten the order of his city and yet he always found himself distracted by Deadpool. He would have to be more assertive next time and assure that he didn't get pulled away again. With nothing to do, the young man decided that there was never a time too early for Spiderman and quickly changed into his get up. Perhaps this way he could check out the areas without having Deadpool take them completely off topic. Even if the merc saw him he woukd just assume he was checking out the areas and would decide to team up with him. Peter knew he had wanted Spiderman out of it but he had a feeling that Wade just wouldn't be able to resist a team up. 

"Look it Spiderman! Mummy look!" He heard a child shout while pointing up at him. A small group of people instantly had phones pointed at him, and he remembered why being Spiderman during the day was such a hassle. He would have to be careful in so he didn't look bad in front of all these phones, although Jamerson would have a field day if he did screw up. He went to the first HQ and didn't find Deadpool or anything else for that matter. The place was abandoned and seemed to have been abandoned for a while. There were a few pointless papers here and there that only listed what the company had brought for donuts Friday. Peter sighed and swung away in hopes of something more entertaining. 

 

"Arrr there's nothing here!" Deadpool shouted while kicking a lab table, making the few empty lab tubes jump and smash on the concrete ground. 

(That guy tots told us lies)

[We haven't seen all the areas yet. We still have two more]

"So what? If I had been able to fucking torture that shit-head I bet he would have told us exactly where we needed to go!"

(But little scout Spidey didn't want us too)

[Look, it was either piss spidey off or get accurate information. Did you want Spidey pissed at us?]

"...No." Wade growled to himself. 

(Guess we're gonna have to put up with it then) 

Wade growled again and punched the table before walking out of the building, but as he did he noticed a small Drive. It had no markings on it and had apparently been dropped as someone was fleeing the area. 

[Maybe it wasn't such a waste of time?]

(I recon nothing it on it.)

"Only one way to find out, but how to get it there..."

 

Spiderman was swinging to get to the next location when a sudden call from his S.H.E.I.L.D tech stopped him. 

"Spiderman get to the helicarrier. Now!" Fury ordered, leaving Peter confused. It was true Fury never really told him what was going on, but this time his voice seemed agitated. The man sighed and made his way to the floating mass in the sky. Luckily it was lowered for his entrance so he wouldn't have to worry about whether he could actually get into the thing. He landed next to Phil, who was currently on the take off area, to ask what was happening. 

"I would just get down there was fast as possible Parker. Otherwise Fury might lose it." Peter was starting to get nervous as he made his way down the hallways of the helicarrier. As he got closer he started to hear Fury shouting at someone. 

"No you cannot break into my ship! Attack my agents and destroy my equipment before askin' for a god damn favor!" Peter instantly sped up in till he had opened the sliding doors only to hear the voice he really didn't want to hear. 

"Oh please! You know you're like a father to me and you couldn't treat your one and only son like that can you?" Deadpool said while kneeling on the floor, seemingly begging, while the groaning bodies of agents littered the floor around him. Spiderman went to turn around only to have Fury spot him. 

"Spiderman! Get this idiot out of here!" He ordered. 

"Dammit." Peter muttered under his breath before turning around again to plead his case, but before he could even open his mouth Deadpool interrupted. 

"Baby-Boy!!" He shouted, standing and running to hug the young hero. 

"Don't call me that!" Spidey shouted, attaching himself to the ceiling with a web to get away. 

"Aww but Spidey you know you love it!" 

[I don't believe he does]

(Of course he does! Look at him, he was jumping for joy so much that he managed to hit the ceiling.)

"Can you please explain to me why Deadpool is on my Helicarrier screaming your name and begging to use the dater-base?" Fury shouted up to Peter. 

(Oh know we've got Spidey into trouble!)

[What did you expect?]

"I didn't expect this! I was expecting to be shoot a little before Spidey even showed up." Deadpool said to himself. The other two males ignored him and carried on the conversation. 

"How am I suppose to know? I just got here." 

"Well get him out. He's an annoyance and we don't need him right now."

"How do you want me to do that? I can hardly control him."

"You can control him a lot more than anyone else on this ship can." 

"Actually..." Wade shouted, gaining the attention of the two. "I still need the dater-base and Spidey here knows why!" He pointed to Peter while looking at Fury. 

"I do?" Spiderman said in a shocked tone. Deadpool then turned to him, looking up, and nodded. 

"You know that guy that told us about those areas that we needed to check out and attack?" Peter tilted his head with understanding. He hadn't known that Deadpool had found anything so fast, everywhere he looked was empty, and he didn't see Deadpool at any of the places. "Well forget them they're all useless. Fucking fedora lied!"

(And he wouldn't have if we had given our way a try!)

"So what now then?" Spiderman asked while glidding down a web to appear next to the merc, be it upside-down. 

(He's doing the thing. HE'S DOING THE THING!)

[Calm down he asked a question]

"Right!" Deadpool shuffled around in his utility belt and suddenly produced the Drive while singing the circle of life from the Lion King. He looked to Peter in hopes of a reaction. 

"...Yeah?" 

[He doesn't know whats on it you idiot]

(But he should at least be a little impressed by our scrounging skills)

"Yeah, it took ages to find this little thing. He should be proud!" Deadpool announced while standing straight and looking down at the disk. 

"Well if you told me what was on it then I would probably be more impressed." Peter quickly said before Deadpool's own argument could become even more distracting. 

"It listed a whole new area, a lab, and told of these experiments. I don't really get it, and a lot of it is codded, but I thought shield could help me." 

"Can someone please tell me what's going on here!" Fury shouted. Many of the agents, previously on the floor in pain, had been carried out or had walked out by their own accord and were now replaced with less injured ones. Spiderman and Deadpool turned their heads to see Fury, arms crossed, and very angry. Peter dropped down so he was standing and rubbed the back of his head nervously. 

"So there are these bad guys right..." Deadpool began. "And like they're doing some bad shit so I've been hired to find out what they're up to and to stop it but to do that I need to know where they are and that could be revealed on this Disk here right and..." He took in a huge breath to continue. "to deceiver it I need help right so I need you lot to tell me whats on this baby so that Spidey and I could go out and beat some ass, grab some earnings and hit the town like two amazing pals!" 

(I would of wanted it to be fuck buddy)

"Yeah but that's not happening... yet. Wait a little while and he'll turn around." 

[Very optimistic]

There was a pause as Fury tried to understand what Deadpool had said. 

"No."

(["What?" )] Both of the red clad hero's said, plus two voices, in response to Fury's refusal. 

"You heard me. We have no idea what's on that disk, where you've gotten it or who it's related too." Fury stated, causing Deadpool to groan. 

"That's why we need to see!" 

"No, we can't risk it having a virus on it. We can't just plug in any old devise Wade." 

[Well that's unfortunate]

(What are we gonna do now.)

[We need someone smart]

(Presumably someone good lookin')

[Who would help us if we asked nicely]

"Parker!" Deadpool suddenly shouted. 

"What!" Spiderman asked with fear filled shock. 

"I'll ask Petey to help me out. He's a smart kid, good looking so I won't be too bored and is super nice. Plus, it's his day off today. No school or nothin'. I'll go give him a visit!" And with that he began to run out of the room. 

"Deadpool! Stop! Don't bother Peter!" Spidey tired, but to no avail as there was an alert that one of the evacuation vents was opened, no doubt for the Merc, making Peter internally panic. 

"Goodbye Parker." Fury muttered before getting back to work, forcing Peter to run after the idiot or at least get back home in time. 

 

He managed to get through the window to his apartment, still in his Spiderman get up, just as there was a huge knock on the door. 

"Ohhhh Petttyyyyy!!!!" He heard Deadpool call from the other-side. 

"Is that you Deadpool? What are you doing here?" Peter asked while trying his best to strip down and get changed, but spandex was hard to get off in a hurry. 

"I need ya help Petey so I'll just come in..."

"No!" Peter shouted. He still had his mask on and bottoms. Amazingly, Deadpool halted. 

"Whats wrong?" He asked with genuine concern in his voice. 

"I'm a... I'm a.." Peter stuttered, ripping his mask off, while trying to think of an excuse. "I'm changing give me a minute." He finished, grabbing his trousers and shoving his suit under his couch. 

"Really?" Deadpool asked, but it was a voice that only troubled Peter more. He jumped for a shirt. 

(Lets see lets see!)

[Perhaps we shouldn't...]

Deadpool ran in to see Peter, shirt half off, in the middle of the living room. He managed to catch a glance of Peter's chest before the shirt was pulled down completely. 

(Damn!!!)

[Who would of known that a little guy like him]

"Jesus Christ Petey! You're fucking ripped." 

"Y...Yeah. I um... I work out." Peter muttered. 

"You must do more than work out 'cause..."

"Why are you here?" 

"Hmm?" Deadpool asked. Peter submerged the will to groan at his incompetence. 

(I've forgotten. Petey's abs have thrown me way off)

[The Drive!]

"Oh yeah. I gotta see whats on this, and since you're a smart boy I thought why not ask you?" Deadpool said, hold out the drive for Peter to take.


	7. Qwen

Peter paced towards the merc and plucked the drive from his thumb and fore-finger. He rolled it around in his palm before putting it into his laptop, on the small dinner table. 

"These codes... they're a little complicated." Peter admitted, taking a seat and starting to type. "Shouldn't be too hard though." He muttered to himself as he was soon completely absorbed by the puzzle. Deadpool took the opportunity to gape at the young man. 

[Like the creepy guy we are]

(But he looks so CUTE when he's focused.) 

[Is he biting his lip?]

(Oh THAT is NOT FAIR!)

Deadpool teared his eyes away to look at the rest of the apartment. It was spotless, but extremely cramped. 

"Cosy." 

"Huh? What?" Peter asked, head tilting slightly to show he was listening but his eyes not leaving the screen. His hands were furious and his face eluminated by the soft glow of he screen. 

[Pretty dark in here as well actually.]

"You're apartment is really small Petey." Deadpool said strolling towards the corner dedicated to books, but there wasn't enough room for a bookshelf and so there were around four huge piles of books stacked atop one another. "And dark. And in a really bad part of town. And cold."

"Yes, yes. I get it. My home sucks, what's your point Deadpool?" There wasn't any anger in his voice, he was far to distracted for that. 

[What was our point?]

(We didn't have one! We never have one!)

"Just a little surprised is all. I thought, with you being a nice kid and all, that you would be in a better area or still living with family or somin'."

"I moved out, this place is close to work and transport for... wait. How did you know where I lived?" Peter had actually turned away from the computer and was staring Wade down. 

[(Shit!)]

"Ummm... I might have, accidentally, unknowingly, deliberately, stalked you when we went out for food that one time." The Merc said, pressing his two fore-fingers together as a nervous twitch. Peter's heart stopped. He couldn't have seen? Surely he would have brought it up to Spiderman. He wouldn't have bothered coming here if he knew. No he didn't know, but it still unnerved Peter to a huge extent. 

"What?" Peter's scowled and Deadpool actually shivered. 

[He is so pissed right now. My god, this is terrifying.]

(This is so scary, but still kinda hot!)

[I think expressing that would only make him madder at us]

(Only Peter fucking Parker could be terrifyingly-hot and cute.)

"Yeah like, only a small percent of the population can actually pull that off." 

"What? Stalking me?" Deadpool snapped back into the present and his eyes widened behind the mask. He wave his hands frantically in front of his face. 

"No, no no. Different convo, not that it was easy following you. You were so nervous all the time and kept looking around. Plus you took , like, a REALLY long route to get here. I mean you never noticed me so that was good, but you seemed like you were in a rush as well and..."

[Stop talking!]

(It's a nervous thing!)

Peter just stared, anger giving way to mild confusion as the Merc ran his mouth. 

"Deadpool?"

"Yeah?"

"Stop talking." 

"...yeah, okay." Peter sighed, slumping his his chair whilst rubbing his forehead. Deadpool was going to be the reason he turned grey. There was silence, other than the tap-taping of keys, for five minutes as Peter worked and Wade walked around the room, picking up and studying everything that wasn't tied down. 

"Who's this?" Peter lifted his head to see Wade holding a plain silver picture frame of Qwen. Peter instantly stood up and darted across the room to snatch the frame away. 

[She's pretty]

(Don't tell me he has a girlfriend!!)

"She your girlfriend?" Deadpool blurted, causing Peter to freeze. The young man looked down at the blond in the picture. 

"She was." 

[Past tense?]

(So? No girlfriend?)

"Messy break-up?" Peter chuckled, but it was spite-filled. 

"You could say that."

"What happened?"

"She died." Peter took in a deep breath as he felt the guilt take hold of his chest. 

[Damn]

(Little Petey!)

"Shit man, how did..."

"Spiderman couldn't save her. The green goblin... thought she was his girlfriend. He wasn't fast enough." Petey placed the frame back down and started walking back to the computer. 

"Petey do you hate Spiderman?" Deadpool asked, a little bit of protectiveness in his voice. Peter turned to him, confused. 

"What?"

"Because if you do I can't be friends with you." Wade then stormed up to Peter in till they were practically nose to nose. Peter tried to shuffle back, but was soon blocked by a wall. The air around Wade changed and it was anything but friendly. "You can't say anything bad about Spiderman, because I guarantee he did everything in his Fucking power to save your girlfriend. And, I'm sorry for your girlfriend but that's no excuse! He might not have been fast enough but he fucking tired and I bet he's even feeling guilty about it, even if he didn't fucking know her, because Spiderman's a good guy and that's what good guys do! So if you tell me that you hate someone who is New York's best goddamn Hero I might just punch you!" Wade was panting by the end of it, adrenaline rushed though him at the thought of protecting Spiderman. Slowly, Peter smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. 

"I don't hate Spiderman. Don't worry." He said, quietly, before slipping around Deadpool and sitting back at his computer. Peter started typing, his face neutral. He didn't deserve all the nice things Deadpool had said. Mind you, it was coming from Deadpool so perhaps he shouldn't be too proud of it. He had to admit, though, it made him feel a little better. 

"They must pay you shit!" Peter withheld auditing a groan. He glanced from the screen momentarily to see Deadpool had himself headfirst in the fridge. "I mean, there is literally nothing in here."

[And for once we aren't exaggerating]

(No wonder Petey is so small)

"I kinda like him small though, but those abs really threw me off." Peter blushed at that, really not wanting to know what in-head conversation prompted that response. 

[Just because he's short doesn't mean he's not buff]

(Is it that he's short? Or is it that we're really fucking tall.)

"A little of both I think." Wade said whilst slamming the fridge door with a disappointed tut. "How much you get payed Petey? Other than, you know, fuck all." Peter snapped out of him small cocoon of embarrassment enough to realise Wade was talking to him. 

"Enough." 

"Ha, yeah right." He then grabbed the chair Peter was sitting on and pulled it away form the table, Peter still attached. 

"Hey!"

"Come-on Petey. I'm gonna treat ya, and no 'I'm gonna pay me self' alright!" Wade didn't wait for an answer before shoving Peter his coat and pushing him out the front door. 

"Wade, I really think we should just crack that Drive and..mmf mmf." Wade had covered the man mouth with a gloved hand. 

"Shush little Petey. No arguing." 

"Mmf mff!"

(God I love that sound!)

[I think he's telling you to remove your hand.]

"Oh right." He did and Peter took a lung full of air before coughing a little. "Sorry Babe, but I usually aim to kill when covering a mouth."

(Or doing that Kinky shit. Now I can't stop imagining Peter in that situation. Do you think he's into kinky stuff? I bet he is.)

"I hope he is." Once Peter caught his breath back he mumbled something. "Sorry babe? What was that?"

"Don't call me that." 

"Call you what babe?"

"That!"

[Is he blushing?]

(Did his girlfriend never call him that?)

"Maybe she was a 'First name' type of girl?" Peter groaned before walking, rather quickly, in a direction. He stuffed his hands into his pockets and waited for the Merc to catch up whilst he worked on trying to cool his skin down. 

"So, where you wanna go Pete? Anywhere ya want, on the house." 

"You really don't need to..."

"Nope nope! What did I say Petey? Or do I need to cover your mouth again? Unless you're into that type of thing."

"Deadpool!"

"Look, no judgement here. It would be REALLY hypocritical anyhow." Peter squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed them. He was developing a headache. 

"I really didn't need to know that." 

(He didn't say nooooooo!)

[Wishful thinking]

"So you haven't done anything kinky before?"

"No."

"What? Not even man-on-man action?"

[Wow, that subtlety though]

(Shush! I wanna hear this one!)

"Man-on-man isn't 'Kinky' Wade." 

(NOT A NO!)

[Not a yes either]

"So you have done it with a guy?" 

"Here." Peter said suddenly, looking up at a Chinese take out place. Wade also looked up before following Petey inside. Wade hadn't been here before which was strange. 

"I thought I'd been to every take out place around here." 

"It was built recently." Peter answered as he approached the counter. There was a very loud and very fast argument, in Chinese, in the kitchen before Petey called out. The arguing suddenly stopped and a rather tall Chinese man stepped out. He was around Petey's age and was wearing a white waist high apron, a black shirt and a name tag that said Jin. 

"Peter! Nice to see you." 

"Nice to see you too Jin. How's business?" 

"It's alright, Mum runs a tight ship. Difficult to balance this and College work though." Peter laughed. 

"Yeah, tell me about it."

[That laugh]

(He's never laughed like that with us! NO fair!)

"Oh!" Peter said, finally realising, and gestured to Wade. "This is..."

"Deadpool! My God Pete, You know Spiderman and now you know Deadpool too? What is your secret and how do I do it?" Jin exclaimed, leaning over the counter with enthusiasm. Peter laughed nervously and rubbed the small of his neck. 

"Uhh... just luck I guess." Jin narrowed his eyes in teasing suspicion. 

"Fine, don't tell me. Keep it to your self."

"Hey I'm not lying!"

"Yeah I'm sure." Jin laughed before crossing his arms. "So? What can I get you for?" 

"Umm... Deadpool's actually paying so..."

"Wait what? Why?"

"I offered." Wade said, a little bored of the conversation. 

[Jealous much?]

(Yes! Lets stab him!)

[I doubt Peter would enjoy that]

(Fuck. I hate it when you're right.) 

"Yeah, but Peter doesn't let people pay for him." He then glared at Peter. "Peter..." He said carefully. Deadpool actually heard Petey swallowing. 

(Now isn't that a nice mental image)

[No now]

"Y-Yeah?" 

"When's the last time you ate, like properly, three times a day." 

"Ummm..." Jin sighed and rubbed his face. 

"Why don't you ask your Ant? You know, for dinner. I bet she'd love to have you round some times."

"I wouldn't want be a bother to anyon..."

"Māmā, bǐde méiyǒu chī! *Mum, Peter hasn't eaten*" Jin called into the kitchen. 

"Jin, honestly it's fine. I don't want you to go to any trouble." 

(Petey is so considerate!)

[Too considerate. He hasn't eaten properly in days and refuses to ask for help because he doesn't 'want to be a bother']

(It's so cute though!) 

"Then don't be and sit down." Jin orders Peter to a table for two and Wade follows. The Chinese shouting started up again, but this time it was less angry and more leading. Peter looked down at the table, slightly embarrassed. 

"Um. Sorry about that." He muttered, scratching the back of his neck again. "Jin is a good friend. We were friends since kinder-garden, but then didn't see each other again in till we went to the same College." Deadpool didn't answer, just looked at Peter. 

[How many days exactly?]

(No wonder he's so small!!!) 

[That cannot be healthy.]

"Umm, Wade?" Peter asked, annoyed that Deadpool was, once again, out of it. 

"How many days?" Wade asked from across the square table. Peter was about to ask what he meant before he interrupted. "Since you ate three meals in a day." 

(How can he? If we aren't eating 24/7 we'll probably die!)

[We can't die]

(That's besides the point)


	8. Chapter 8

Peter shrugged.

"Four, five? Really, it's fine." Peter said, fiddling with his chopsticks.

(Da Fuck!)

[This doesn't mean he hasn't EATEN for five days. It just means he hasn't eaten three meals a day in that time]

"So? Its still not healthy. Kid like him has to eat healthy." Wade said, frowning. Peter ignored him again, realising the shift to inner convo fairly easily, and tapped the chopsticks on his leg. It wasn't even that big a margin for Peter. He was used to only having enough to get by, so when something unexpected happened, like he needed new graphic card, he had to make do. He could, theoretically, demand S.H.E.I.L.D tec, but he could never trust them not to hack into his stuff for information. He wanted to have some sort of Independence from them in case things got ugly. He didn't want to rely on them, or anyone, too much. Deadpool was still talking to himself, but Peter didn't really mind. It gave him enough time to try and figure out how to convince him, and Jin, that he could pay. He felt bad not paying, and didn't want Deadpool paying with dirty money.

"Here!" Jin announced, too much food in his arms. Peter's eyes widened and he instantly shook his head.

"This is too much. I..."

"Nope, not gonna let you say it. Anything you can't eat we'll give you to go so you have at least a little food for the rest of the week." Jin insisted.

(He's still refusing??)

"I can just pay if..." Wade started.

"No!" Peter's eyes snapped to Wades, making him shuffle nervously. Stern Peter again, and this time he felt a shudder down his spine.

(So sexy)

[Is should be illegal to be that sexy]

"It's on the house." Jin said, casually, before retreating into the back to get even more food. Peter's eyes softened instantly as he returned, pleading to Jin, but Jin expertly refused to give in.

"Mum says it's fine, but if you wanna argue with her?" Jin sent a smirk to Peter, knowing the answer. Peter tensed before slumping in defeat. Jin laughed and patted Peter's shoulder. "That's what I thought. Eat up."

(God I hate that guy)

[Peter seems to like him though]

Peter had started eating. Wade wasn't willing to move his mask just yet. Jin had a habit of talking to Petey and he didn't want to have to compete with his smooth, light skin. Peter seemed to resonate with the man. He was smiling a lot and was quite animated around him.

"Do you fancy Jin?" Peter choked on a spring roll.

"W-what?" He asked, covering his mouth in politeness. "No! He's a good friend. One of my best friends, but still just a friend." After a gulp of water, Peter sat straighter and spoke clearer. "What made you think that?"

(Ummm)

[Shit]

"Well you just, ya know, get all smiley around him and he knows you really well and you know his mum and he is pretty hot, not that you aren't, you're totally hot, but he is also okay but I could totally see you together , but I mean I didn't know whether you were because I can totally see you doing all the dating things, like dinner and snuggling and sex. Not that I've imagined you having sex or anything, but I mean, I have, but I also can see you doing things, not THOSE things, but like watching movies, but I suppose I can just see you doing that in general and maybe it has nothing to do with this guy..."

"Deadpool, stop." Peter said, head in hands. Wade hadn't even realised the young man had stopped eating.

[We were rambling]

(Omg we've totally embarrassed Petey! Shit, shit, shit!)

[We aren't even entirely sure he's into guys]

(We've put him off doing ANYTHING with ANYONE now! ESPECIALLY US!)

"Sorry." Deadpool muttered. Peter was trying his best to overcome the immense blush that had taken over his entire face.

[His ears are tinted red]

(He's so embarrassed!)

Peter took a few deep breaths and decided to look up again. Deadpool was staring at him, feet taping, and obviously very nervous about Petey's reaction. He straightened and started trying to pick up some noodles.

"Its-it's fine. He's just a friend." Peter concluded, shoving a noodle in his mouth. He avoided eye contact with the merc and was suddenly very conscious of how much he  _did_ smile at Jin. It was all friendly of course, but Pete doesn't have many friends. Deadpool has certainly never seen him around friends and is probably confusing friendship for interest because he's never seen Peter when he is interested.

[Is he telling the truth?]

(It's Petey! Of course he's telling the truth!)

[What about if he's interested in Jin? Goes out with Jin instead of us]

"Well it's not like we had a chance anyway. He's too pretty." Peter flushed. He didn't know whether he was the one being mentioned in Wade's head. Maybe Wade wanted to flirt with Jin. He could have been checking to make sure he wasn't 'stepping on Peter's terf' by asking that question.

Peter flicked his eyes to Jin, now sweeping the ground, and really looked at him. Peter could admit that Jin was attractive, but he could only ever see that little kid that liked collecting bugs when looking at Jin. Besides, Jin never flirted with Peter. Never made it obvious if he had wanted something more. Peter shook his head to himself and went back to eating. It just felt wrong to see Jin in a sexual way.  

"Plus, if he does say no, we can always try with Spidey." Wade concluded, gaining Peter's full attention. Wade seemed to snap out of it then and realised he'd been speaking out loud. "Oh, sorry Pete, I know that's a touchy subject for you but you can't argue with cold hard facts. Spiderman is fucking hot!" Peter stared at him for a good ten seconds before snorting. "What? It's true! Have you ever seen that ass? Of course you have, you take pictures of... Oh! You lucky son of a bitch!" Peter chuckled again and shook his head softly.

"You haven't even seen under his mask. How do you know he's hot?" 

"How would you know?" Peter full on froze then. "What's wrong Petey? You a little jeee-aaa-lous?" At that, Peter snapped about of it and frowned at him. 

"No. Why would I be jealous?" Deadpool was teasing. Peter knew he hadn't shown Wade anything, and he doubted that Wade could hold it together if he had figured it out during his stalking. Wade cocked his head to the side. 

"Well you either hate Spidey's guts or fancy him Pete. I mean, you take his picture so the newspaper can rip him to shreds. It's either you want the paper to shit on him or you just love taking pictures of that booty. Hey I'm not blaming you, I'd do it in my spear time if I wasn't worried that Spidey would get mad at me. He can be scary when he want's to be." Deadpool shuddered. 

[I wouldn't say he's particularly scary when he's mad. When he's disappointed yes.]

(I wanna see Spidey!)

"But we're here with Petey. We've already seen Spidey today."

(Yeah, but that doesn't count. We saw him for all of two minutes before sprinting off towards Petey.)

[We would have to decide which one to hang out with]

"Hmm... Petey or Spidey? Pete or Incy-wincey? Babe or Baby-Boy?" 

(Decisions, decisions.)

[Or perhaps neither one of them want's to deal with us]

"Wade, I should really finish cracking that code. I'm sure Spiderman will be out tonight, he normally is isn't he?" Peter asked, rising from his chair and gathering his coat. 

(That's right! Practically every night!)

[We'd still have to find him]

"And find him we shall!" Deadpool announced, looking off into the distance as he posed dramatically. Peter rolled his eyes, walking towards the exit, before being stopped by the determined looking Jin. Peter sighed, not needing to question Jin, before stating that he would like to take the rest home with him. Jin beamed and collected the food to box them. 

 

 

 

 

Deadpool insisted on walking Peter home. 

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own any Marvel Characters. Any events in this story are purely fictional. If there are any world events that are similar it is coincidence. This is also the case for side characters I may create.


End file.
